Frustrated over ongoing connectivity issues and boys who won't sit still and get serious, my homeschool as of late has resembled more of a liturgical service. Up, down, all around. I had forgotten how much I crave order and perfection! In the midst of this constant upheaval, I am reminded of a blond haired, blue eyed boy named Brandon in my 2nd grade class, many years ago. I now know Brandon's purpose went far beyond that school year. He was preparing me for a few boys of my own.
Dazed and confused, Brandon could most often be caught doing anything but his work. He sat in my first row of desks and I struggled to connect the building blocks of learning to his existing knowledge base. I often wondered if he heard anything I said. So many notes and phone calls home, in those days I wondered how any parent could be so negligent of making their kid follow through on appropriate classroom behavior! HA!!! God has a way of teaching us important life lessons through this little thing called first hand experience. Brandon was my first encounter with ADHD, medication, and the brain chemistry of both that and perseverative autism. Enter Brandon. Enter compassion and empathy.
My boys were entrusted to me to teach and I am their first, best, and most intimately familiar guide on the path of life. I am thankful for each of them and their unique strengths and weaknesses. I am thankful we can have this time together, no matter how short or long it may be, to learn at a relaxed pace and enjoy the gift of time. I hope I never take that for granted. I'm also enormously thankful for friends who have the same experiences of life and hold my hand and talk me through, when it hurts from the exhaustive pain of it all. You know who you are! There are days of hitting the wall and melt downs when our homeschooling is more like a trek through an insane asylum on lockdown at lunch time, when no food trucks are allowed admittance! There are also very good days where things flow smoothly! No matter which day we're having, we're on the hunt for a optimal learning environment where we understand one another better and the order of God's amazing world!
And after searching all day for the missing piece of connection to the outside world? I finally discovered that if I just shut down my firewall, I could have access to the superhighway. While I am sure it is not the recommended operating procedure, just like in my mothering of my son's, sometimes sacrifices have to be made in order to gain access to the heart, mind, and spirit of a little boy. Sometimes plans need to be pushed aside to read a story and snuggle. God grant me the ability to do this with a more patient and sincere understanding of what it's like to be a tiny male!
Some-days you hit the wall; other days you turn it off and still others you simply find the pencil sharpener you've been looking for over an hour! School can commence and life is good. ;-)
Solio De Gloria,
Victoria
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